There once was a time we shared much more, but we can just share space and time, while one does almost nothing else mutual whatever, and that’s still what’s called a relationship. I have offered that definition for her, and she is here to collect. That’s alright. She was once a hermit and I am a writer at the moment, doing my work as she rests. There’s virtue in that state of things.
Having done all to assert my wishes toward her, she asserts individual needs in return and I’ve no idea whether she’ll make a round trip or not. She’s been doing a lot of abrupt begging off and promises a lot of returns which do not transpire. I finally feel as though I’m only clutching, while the remarkable relationship of an entire lifetime, disintegrates before my disbelieving eyes.
After promising she would never leave me, that she would always be there for me, that she understood me best of anyone. She proceeded to issue a demand of me, of which I could not comply, and so has chosen to withdraw from me, to a mutual dining table of unilateral truce, I am not supposed to notice. She will take the substance of her meals with me, and fly, flyaway…
It’s a contest of wills. She demands, I refuse to comply. She puts too great a value on a substance, I am still not inclined to provide. She asks what is virtually impossible for me to supply. I’m really not inclined to make the virtually impossible a reality, whether those things are her wishes or not. As I have always been, so I am. In the face of anyone else’s wishes, mine override.
I am left alone to my keyboard once again, when she let on she would return smartly. The confrontation sealed the latest of occurrences. There is something she wants that she can’t have. No one puts that substance on demand in that way. I will not be required to proceed with any such thing. It’s a matter of whatever it’s a matter of. Once required, I will not be required thus again.
People will equivocate with me endlessly, but if the shoe were on the other foot, I’d be accused in a court of law. As it is, I’ll only be put off, while no one will ever really understand. My principles be damned along with me. I’ll be foot loose and fancy free before anyone knows what happened. Beware. No one requires what no one demands. It’s that simple. Not complex. Simple.