I need to trust in God’s promises to me. That’s what I need to focus on. I can’t just go around beating myself up about what other people might do to me. I’m not strong enough for that sort of thing. I need to focus on what God says, not on what the world says.
God told me that none of the terrible troubles of my youth cannot come near me, as long as I don’t drink alcohol. He promises me that He will see to it personally. He promises me that I will always have enough, as long as I don’t drink alcohol. I will get along just fine in this world, as long as I keep my eyes on the Lord my God.
I have been well conditioned to avoid alcohol, and the Lord is waking me up to the realities of my circumstances. I can’t romance trouble on my head, as long as I have my eyes set on the Lord my God. In God there is perfect goodness. Sobriety is a matter of thinking in terms of God’s goodness, and staying away from the fear and the anger in this world.
There’s a person I know who is behaving threateningly toward me. So what? I have God looking after me. With God at my side, how can I lose? That woman can’t hurt me if I just stay away from her.
I enjoy a very comfortable suite in a very luxurious assisted living establishment in the vicinity of my brother and his family. I’m enjoying it immensely. God sees to it that I have three meals per day, and plenty of everything else that I need to get along in life. I get good sleep at night, and nap when I feel the need. I have my transportation needs met, as a function of where I’m living. I have my laundry done for me, and so many other nice advantages I have in life that I can’t think of them all specifically, in order to list them all here, although my heart mentions them one by one.
It only stands to reason that I can’t find a way to get to meetings of the program here. Gasoline has gotten extremely expensive, and people just aren’t inclined to go out of their way to provide transportation to some old timer who doesn’t really need meetings anymore, anyway. I really don’t need meetings at the moment. I need to focus on God in my life. The thing about my sobriety is that it’s stable, contingent on my spiritual condition. I need to focus on my spiritual condition, and then I’ll be as fit as a fiddle.
I wasn’t focusing on God at the meeting I was going to anyway. I was focusing on the world and my surroundings while I was there. I was all caught up in my fear and anger at that meeting. It’s time to move on, time to get the hell out of there.
All this fear I’ve been wallowing in is just not necessary. The Lord is still in charge of my life. I’ve been faithful, and not had any alcohol to drink in better than twenty eight yrs. That’s His one qualification for all the best in life to be my lot. I’m only making myself scared and angry, only freaking myself out because someone is ignoring my wishes. I need to stop doing that to myself. The thing is that I’ve got some very specific promises from God that I’m denying inside myself, with my fear and my anger.
That will never do.
God came to me and said that all the terrible troubles of my youth could not come near me, that He would see to it, personally. I will always have enough, as long as I don’t drink alcohol. I have not had a drink of alcohol in twenty eight yrs. What does it take for me to believe God instead of believing the world? It takes a little bit of focus on goodness, that’s about it.
My life is different than it ever was. I’ve been living in Virginia Beach at assisted living a full year now, and it’s generally more than a much more comfortable situation for me than I’ve had my entire life. My overall circumstances these days are really just awesome. The food is good. It’s a lot of down home cooking, day after day, and I’ll be getting my permanent choppers in just a couple of weeks now. I’ve been looking forward to getting them for the longest time. I’ll finally be able to chew my food again, after having all my teeth out last summer. Besides which, they’re paid for. I don’t need to have a lot of help from other people to stay sober. I need help from God. I can only achieve spiritual stability by focusing on what I believe, and making my beliefs focus on God’s promises.
I wrote a couple of pages of fear and anger, and I’m going to drop them from my list of documents altogether. There’s not any point in keeping them. No one would want to read them anyway.
Always enough, God said. I will have enough this month. I will have enough next month. I will have enough every month, as long as I don’t drink alcohol. And I’ve been faithful. I don’t drink alcohol.
I will have a nice place to stay and reliable transportation, as long as I don’t drink alcohol. Avoiding alcohol is the crux of the matter. I’ll be fine as long as I keep the juice out of my body.